Senin, 18 Juli 2011

Heart Broken Facebook Statuses

Do you know why the door to my heart is always locked? Cause every time I open it someone stabs me with a knife...

-Can't stop these tears from coming anymore..</3

wonders why he even bothers putting his heart out there when he KNOWS he's just going to get played and hurt?

I want to move on, but somewhere in my heart still misses you being here..

There are times when every thing's better left unsaid.

Go ahead girl let him hold Ur hand let him tell u he loves u let him text u all the time! Love the way he kisses u but be ready for when he breaks Ur heart </3

wen i see you i find it hard to not to think we still have another chance of being back with together again

The best feeling in the world was when you held me.. the worst feeling is the pain i felt when you walked away that hot June day

hating every minute in my life right now for absolutely no reason at all. if you ask me whats wrong you won't get more than a 'leave me alone' or 'i don't know'

You got me to fall for you. and You got me to fall for your stupid games. and now i'm the one with the broken heart </3

The worst thing about falling for someone is thinking they will catch you in their arms but instead they watch you fall and hit the ground... broken.

I'm still here, near you...but if I seem distant, remember, YOU pushed me away...

Someday you'll realize that you made a mistake.Someday you'll miss the love we had.Someday you'll open your eyes and realize i'm gone forever and your all alone

You say you love me? So tell me this. What does he have that I don't? How does he get to have you and keep you, when all I want is you?

U kno whats always the same about love it starts with a smile, in the middle brings an I love you and ALWAYS ends with a tear that will never die :'(

I'm the type of girl who could be so hurt & smile.. I can laugh. I'm the type of girl who can brighten your day-even if I cant brighten my own.

is it possible to miss something you never truly had in the first place.? there was an illusion of you but i never really had you...

wishes he had selective amnesia~~~~Just saying

I wish i had a big fancy quote to explain how i feel. But i dont, and here's the truth,I REALLY miss you and everything that we used to be </3

The hard part is not realizing something, it's accepting what you just realized, even if it breaks your heart in the process.

misses someone right now but that person he misses, broke his heart </3

Love doesn't exists, it's simply a cruel game the mind plays on the heart *</3

forever didn't last as long as i wanted.

I guess what I'm trying to say I'm not ready to have you out my life </3

"You know what's really sad? I'll spend the rest of my life trying to forget you. And, you'll spend the rest of yours, Never thinking about me again."

How come no matter how many times you break my heart i still Love you with all the little pieces? </3

I'm Sick of Trying,
Sick of Crying,
I may look happy,
But inside, I'm dieing. :(

A true friend is there to pick you up in the hard times, to hug you in the bad times, and wipe away the tears in the worst times.

So many nights I've fallen asleep with tears in my eyes, and awakened after dreaming of you. You were my everything. Now you're gone, and I have nothing</3

how can you promise me forever...if you can't even give me today?

Someday when you look back on the decisions you made I hope you realize that I was the best thing that ever could have happened to you.

Sometimes crying let's your body know your heart is still there.

don't tell me something if you really don't mean it... don't drag me through something if you don't want it to begin with :(

behind this beautiful smile are the pain and tears you left me with. </3

I need a hug...  Don't question me...  Don't say anything... just hug me! <3

I don't even know what to feel anymore, I know i love you with everything i have, but how much pain do i have to take before you feel the same way?

I need a hug...  Don't question me...  Don't say anything... just hug me! <3

I don't even know what to feel anymore, I know i love you with everything i have, but how much pain do i
have to take before you feel the same way?

Do you really want to know why I don't let anyone in? It's because my heart is still missing pieces from the last time it was broken.

its obvious that you moved on, found someone else, and got over me within a day..why cant i be as heartless as you? </3

if your heart and mind are fighting and your confused, well let your mind win because it wont get hurt like your heart will

No matter how many times you shove me aside i still wait for you. I cant kick the feeling so i brake my own heart waiting for you

the cuts can be closed, the bleeding stopped. but the scars, the memory's, the pain, lasts forever

your the best thing that could ever happen to me and now your gone!! :/ </3

Happily ever after? oh, those pages got ripped out of my story... right around the time you ripped my heart out of my chest.

U said u would kill anyone who hurt me so i just have one question why aren't u dead yet?

the worst lie i have ever heard... I love you

i wish you were here, beside me, holding me, telling me that its gonna be okay...

If I could explain to you how much you hurt me I would, but my tears should be enough.

I ask myself this question everyday: if love is so delicate, how can it break your heart.

I Maybe a Dreamer but that can never take away the reality that I lost you ... But i still LOVE YOU... Even if u have another.

i loved you with everything i had, i gave you my whole heart. All i asked for was just a piece of yours, but instead you gave me mine back...shattered </3

I ain't crying over u anymore or am i dieing for you anymore. It's all a sin it never should have been. It's not meant to be, i need to feel free. It's the end.

... Wonders, what went wrong. We were happy and everything... then one day... everything went wrong and there was nothing to do but give up, and try to move on.

Over and Over I Tried, Over and Over YOU lied, Over and Over I cried, until YOU made me feel dead inside.

do you realize what you do to me? how can you make me so happy and so sad at the same time? i guess because i know that no matter what we will just be friends

Your first mistake was letting me walk away.Your second mistake was giving me the chance to realize i could live without you. </3

's heart is currently unavailable

I live in the present but my mind is in the past, I keep thinking about our memories wondering why didn't they last ! :(

All I wanted was to be by your side and you pushed me away.

i try to get over you. but it seems the more i think about you, the more i love you. why was i the one whose heart you played with?? </3

Don't say sorry for breaking every inch of my heart </3

you messed with me,you think your so smart, i didn't know why, you broke my heart, but one day, one day youll see, youll never find some1, who loved you like me

Does it matter anymore to you that I still love you? Guess not because you barely talk to me, listen to me, or  even look at me when i tell you I Love You.

really needs to talk to someone right now, but the one person he wants to talk to is the one person he cant.

Words may not break bones, but they do break hearts!

i wasn't prepared to fall that hard for you, but i also wasn't prepared for the pain when you decided to walk away.

When anything happens..good or bad you're the only one I want to talk to..I pick up my phone to call you but then I don't care anymore </3

I've always had the question on my mind.i never cared to really ask, but now i finally got the guts to..did you really ever love me?

"you were the one who made the most promises in my life. And you were the one person that broke all of them."</3

It's hard trying not 2 love someone like u. Even tho u hurt me so much, i still think about u every second of everyday

FACT: ~ A sober heart conceals, what a drunken mouth reveals ~

i gave up...not because i didn't care...but because you didn't:(

You broke my heart , and you stepped on the shattered pieces . You left me there sad . You walked passed and stared . I thought I loved you , but you hurt me .

when you wake up in the middle of the night thinkng of me, can't concentrate at work cuz ur thinkn of me..just remember, you're the one that walked away.

Why is it that I love you? You broke my heart, Made me Cry, and found someone else. Now your coming back to me? How can i love someone who ruined me. </3

i just don't see any point in loving anymore when I'll just be hurt over and over again

Why Is it that Thai person who always picks yew up is Thai one who always knocks yew down ???

I said over and over to everyone that i was over you. I said it so much that I started to believe it was true. The Sad thing is- It doesn't last long.

Basically the worst feeling in the world is finding out the one you love loves someone else. :(

Isn't sure what's worse, the pain I feel because you're gone, or the numbness that's taken over the place in my heart that used to be yours.

You're all that I want, you're all that I need, but apparently I'm not what you need.

You said u LOVED me, u said u would NEVER leave me, but in the end u DIDN'T love me and u DID leave me </3

I'm tired of crying all night. I can't take all the pain anymore. I miss being able to see your face in the morning. I miss having you in my life </3

Should I smile because we are friends? Or should I cry because we'll never be anything more? </3

I put on my fake smile and tell everyone that everything is okay. but when I'm alone i cry my eyes our and tell myself i cant do this anymore.

" i was thinking bout you, thinking bout me, thinking bout us and what we could be, but then i realized it was only just a dream. "

I saw something in you that i didn't see in anyone else </3

is no longer wasting her time on someone who can't make time for her.

Everyone is always asking me whats wrong... but i don't even think it makes any sense, its just... my heart hurts

Every1 thinks that relationships are easy they r rong they take alot of love,caring, and lots more but most of all u hav 2 b ready 4 a broken <3 in the end :'(

Someone asked me if I still loved you... I walked away and closed my eyes and whispered "I do, but I know I shouldn't."

in my head i want you but my heart is screaming run run as fast as you can you cant catch me I'm the broken man -

I hate it when a memory from the past pops up in your mind and leaves you heartbroken all over again! ):

I get over you, then I see you again. I try to ignore you so I don't fall for you again, but then you smile and those feelings come flooding back! <3 <3 <3 <3

One day when I'm happy with someone else. You'll see that you truly miss me but your never going to have me cause you lost your chance.

You caught my eye, took my hand, and stole my heart. You promised me you'd never leave me. And here I am with no heart, no friend and tears running down my face

I wish he could just see how much he means too Me and how bad it hurts to watch him walk away:(

It's okay. No, really. I'm used to being second best.

Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for all the damage. Dear Brain, you were right

Your smile is so beautiful! The only reason i don't like looking at it is bekuz i know it's not mine<l3

I smile a lot because I don't want people to see how broken I am inside, but sometimes I wish that someone would see through me and save me from my misery.

be careful how much trust you put into someone's promises

Sabtu, 16 Juli 2011

Most Popular Facebook Statuses is too short to worry about little things! so enjoy your life, laugh every chance you get, cry only if you must & never let other people get you down!!

There's a difference between Friends & best friends. if Ur upset a friend comes and hugs you.A best friend comes with a gun and says, alright who am i shooting?

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say "mosquito."

Decisions are the hardest move to make. Especially when its a choice between where you should be and where you want to be. :)

there are three types of people in the world: people who make things happen, people who watch things happen and people who wonder what the HELL just happened

I'm not special.. I'm a limited edition.

Appreciate every day of your life. Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, and the worst days give you lessons.

Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

Don't wait for the perfect moment...Take the moment and make it perfect...x

I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

The funny thing about Facebook is you can talk about one person and it makes 20 others think it's about them.

Someone asked me,"Are you Single?" I said, "NO, I am in a relationship with FREEDOM."

Is not addicted to the Internet. I only surf when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, no time, this time, that time, any time, all the time...

When somebody says "Expect the unexpected" slap them in the face and say " You didn't expect that did you."

Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself, "Where the hell did I meet these crazy people?" But then I think "What the hell would I do without them" (:

some people don't understand the way i am, some are hurt by the way i talk, but what i can do if that's the real me, i am not perfect, but definitely not fake!

The sweetest things in life aren't planned..they take you by surprise

One day, love and friendship met. Love asked, Why do you exist when I already exist? Friendship smiled and said,To put a smile where you leave tears

One of the best things in life is seeing a smile on a persons face and knowing that you put it there.

3 Simple Tips to play safe in the game Of Life:-
* Don't Promise when you are Happy.
* Don't Reply when you are Angry.
* Don't Decide when u are Sad.

I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing.  I also love the ones who left my life and made it fantastic.

Never ignore a person who loves you and cares for you. One day you may realise you've lost the moon while counting the stars.

Everything in life happens for a reason so live it, learn it, and love it. Use your smile to change the world, don't let the world change your smile!

When you're really important to someone, that person will always have time for you. No excuses, no lies and no broken promises.

There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.

"Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others."

I'm perfect in my imperfections, secure in my insecurities, happy in my pain, strong in my weaknesses, and beautiful in my own way...I am ME!!!

Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease each other, knock each other down, irritate each other, hate each other but can't live without each other.

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts :: Others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

tip to reduce weight:
first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right.
repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

Make me no promises and I won't have any disappointments, simple logic of the matter if you promise you're going to do something than follow through..

Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want  in your life, but you behaviors  decide who will stay in your life...

There are 4 things you can never recover: The stone..after the throw. The word..after it's said. The occasion..after it's missed. The time..after it's gone.

the person who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle. but still wants you in his/her life. :)

You can never make the same mistake twice. . because the second time you make it, its not a mistake, its a choice

Relationships do not need promises, terms, and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people; one who can trust and one who can understand.

If you spend too much time holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you'll miss your chance to find the one who treats you like a priority!

some relationships are like tom and Jerry... they irritate each other... they tease each other.. but they still can't live without each other!

The 3 C's of life: choices, chances and changes ~ You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.

walk a mile in my shoes.. see what i see, hear what i hear, feel what i feel.. THEN maybe you'll understand why i do what i do.. till then don't judge me

one day, I'm gonna make the onions cry

two things to remember:
DON'T make decisions when you're angry
DON'T make promises when you're happy

the biggest mistake by most human beings:
"listening half, understanding quarter, telling double"

a smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and a friend like me...well...that's a sign of good taste.

~ be yourself, don't change 4 anyone ... if they don't like you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best !!

Dear God, i wanna take a minute, not to ask of anything from you. but simply to say thank you, for all you have done, are doing and continue to do for me.

...Always listen to your's on your left side..but it's always right!

I regret nothing in my life. Even if my past was full of hurt, I still look back and smile, because my past made me who I am today and made me stronger :)

Beautiful pictures are developed from
negatives in a dark room...So if you see darkness in your life be reassured that a beautiful picture
is being prepared.

the past should be left in the past, otherwise it can destroy your future. Live life for what tomorrow has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

Life's too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.

The best thing about being me...I'm a limited edition...there are no other copies!

Everything happens for a reason, live it, love it, learn from it! Make your
smile change the world, but don't let the world change your smile :)

"sometimes you'll never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory"

If people have a problem with u...always is THEIR problem ;)

Every night we go to Bed,without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the Alarm to wake up..That's called HOPE...

Silence and smile are two powerful words. Smile is the way to solve many problems and Silence is the way to avoid many problems

If people are trying to pull you down. Be proud about it, because it only confirms that you are above them.

If u feel stressed, give yourself a break
Eat some ice cream, chocolates, candy & cake
Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS!

Sometimes all you need in life is someone to wrap their arms around you, hold you tight and assure you that everything is going to be just fine!

Life isn't meant to be easy, it's meant to be lived..sometimes happy, other times rough. But with every up and down you learn lessons that make you strong.

"Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people.  If they care, they will notice and will be bothered.  If they don't, you know where you stand. "

"There's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way and the way I want it done"

God puts people in your life for a reason, and removes them from your life for a better reason.

My silence doesn't mean that I quit... It simply means that I don't want to argue with people who just don't want to understand!!!

Those who can sense your sadness in your smile; can hear your words in your silence; can feel your love in your anger; trust them. They are your real friends.

life is too short while you still have teeth!

The person who tries to keep everyone happy and always cares for every one is always the most lonely person..'strange but true'

Do not look back and ask why, look forward and ask, why not?

Definition of Human Being: A creature that cuts trees,makes paper & writes "Save Trees" on the same paper

life is so confusing... what we want we don't get, what we get we are not satisfied with, what we expect never happens & what we hate generally repeats!

Live for the person who dies for you, Smile for the person who cries for you, Fight for the person who protects you, and Love the person who loves u more than u

Live for today, love for tomorrow, and laugh at all your yesterdays. Never regret the past, always hope for the future, and cherish every moment you have.

Live for today, love for tomorrow, and laugh at all your yesterdays. Never regret the past, always hope for the future, and cherish every moment you have.

Life gives answer in 3 ways : " It says YES and gives you what you want, It says NO and gives you something better and It says WAIT and gives you the best

F.A.M.I.L.Y is one of the strongest words anyone can say, because  the letters of FAMILY means Father And Mother I Love You!!!

Dear weather you don't need to show off.. I know you're hot ;)

When you focus on problems, you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities. Dream. Wish. Make it happen.

FRIENDSHIP is the rainbow between two hearts sharing seven colors: feelings, love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secret & respect. :)

You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through. So stop judging me, and take a look in the mirror for once.

we don't always get what we want - sometimes, we get something better :)

Life would be perfect if: Some girls had mute buttons; Some guys had edit buttons; Hard times had fast forward buttons; And Good times had pause buttons =)

In life we never lose friends, we only learn who our true ones are.

Did you know that when someone appears in your dreams, it's because that person misses you. -Psychological fact.

Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, & doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it's meant to be.

There comes a point when you have to realize you'll never be good enough for some people. The question that your problem or theirs?

Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived.  Live in the present and make it beautiful;-)

Never ignore a person who loves you, and cares for you. One day you may wake up from your sleep and realize that you've lost the moon while counting the stars.

Don't trust too much, don't love to much, don't hope too much..because that TOO MUCH can hurt u so MUCH !!

Life stops when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing, love ends when you stop caring, friendship ends when you stop sharing.


funny facebook status

A blonde is driving in his car and turns on the radio. It says that 2 Brazilian men were killed. he starts crying and says, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks...  They charged one and let the other one off

Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one.

Break their bones instead, they have 206...

has had a lazy day and will continue until further notice

Prostitute in the police station The desk officer says, "So when did you realize you were raped?" replies ... "When the cheque bounced!

I know where you are and what you're doing. You're at your computer, reading my status. Amazing, huh?

so i hear Cassie Anthony is looking to get plastic surgery so he can not be recognized..hhmmm, here let me get that for you, bring on the chloroform!

My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman.

Anyone can do well when things go smoothly. It's when the sh*t hits the fan that you see what people are made of.

used his last "chill-pill" yesterday. This is your ONLY warning.

thinks till death do us part needs to be taken out of wedding vows and instead should be replaced with till you get bored or someone else comes along.

hates when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see!

is just super duper completely and totally amazingly awesomely, bored.

Random moment-Why do some people like ketchup...and not tomatoes???

Science directory: if it moves, it's biology. If it blows up, it's chemistry. If it's useless, it's physics.

says, I keep forgetting stuff...the doctor says it's not alzheimer's , it's budweisers

My favorite 4 words "Because I said so!"

What's the definition of cruelty? Walking into a cemetery singing ah ah ah ah staying alive staying alive

I am indeed rumbly in my tumbly. -Winnie the Pooh

should be doing stuff today, but instead has gone one further and done stuff all!

This morning my alarm clock decided to wake me up. I wasn't quite ready yet. things got violent... now the alarm clock is broken and I'm wide awake. who won?

is out of order... Sorry for the inconvenience...

drug dealers are using automated phone services now, i just rang one up and this voice said "if you want to buy marijuana press the hash key"

Is so glad no one can read minds, because today that could get me in trouble.

believes some people should come with a warning label...others should come with an expiry date!

Texting + Facebook = Textbook... So I'm studying right? ;)

Don't worry guys! The world will not end in 2012, I have a can of peas that expires in 2013! We're gonna be alright!

Sarcasm - Gods gift to smart people

When the zombie apocalypse time comes I know EXACTLY who I'm pushing into a horde first..


threw a book at my friends face today, "What was that for?" HaHa "I Facebooked you"

Out of all the days in the year ... It had to rain today! :(

...All I'm saying is, if a 400lb jar of cool-aid busted through my wall, I would scream and run for my life.

my children think I have a money tree!  So, I keep a dead tree in the backyard just so I can show them when they ask for money that my money tree is bare! :)

is wondering if  a cow from china would understand a cow from the UK or do they moo different languages?

A blond texts to A brunette 'what does IDK mean' the brunette replies 'I Don't Know' then the blond replies 'No One Seems To Know'

Mood Forecast for this evening Happy with a good chance of getting pissed!

There is a reason why the past is the past &  some people don't make it to our future...Some will create memories and others become a warning :o)

when the bus driver gets off the bus who closes the door?

If you ever get mad at your kids, just remember, they are choosing your nursing home!

I learned a good lesson today. If the batteries are dying, pressing the buttons on the remote even harder won't help.

I did 25 sit-ups this morning. It's not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone hit snooze on an alarm clock??

It's a fact the human tongue cannot touch all your teeth. It's also a fact that you have just tried this and found out that the 1st fact was a lie!!!

Falling in love is like getting drunk. U wake up with a horrible hangover, swearing that you'll never drink again

You are now as pointless as a white crayon.

After reading this comment you will realize that the the brain doesn't recognize a second "the"

If you feel lonely, just throw rocks at people. You can never be lonely if people are chasing you.

is planning on taking over the world with an army of squirrels and a spoon. Wanna Help?

I love photos, because they never change, even if the people in it change...

There's 2 spiders ,3 monkeys , 2 dogs ,and 5 chickens . How many legs do you have ? well how many ? Are you still counting ?  please I'm waiting I hope only 2 .

People tell me to go to hell, well I have news for them; been there, conquered it, and Satan threw me out!

lolly pop, lolly pop, oh lolly lolly lolly lolly pop (POP) badum dum dum, good luck getting that out of your head, haha your welcome! :) x

Why do they sell bras at Walmart? I seem to be the only person wearing one when I'm in the store!

If you get between me and the coffee pot..well, you're just gonna have to die.

You know how they say in ads that Max Factor mascara makes your lashes 3x longer than they are...  maybe they should make condoms

can read minds... i know what your doing... wait its coming to me... your on Facebook ain't you.. see i told you i was a mind reader

I don't care it you lick windows, ride the short bus ,or pee yourself! You keep you're head up sunshine! You're frigging special:)

If you're happy, I'm happy, if you cry, I cry, If you jump of a cliff... I'm going to miss you!

2 old ladies sitting in church 1 leans over and whispers to the other "my butt is going to sleep" the other replies "I know I have heard it snore 3 times"

Remember, it's not" How high are you?" It's "Hi, how are you?"

Some say the glass is half full, others say it's half empty. I'm the kind of person who drinks the whole thing to avoid the whole argument.

if you could describe me in one word what would it be? if you are brave enough set this as your status and see what you get!!!

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are yu...
the roses are dying the violets are dead, the sugar bows empty and so is ur head

don't want to go back to prison, i mean school, i mean prison, i mean school, oh who am i kidding, school is prison and prison is school!

What the FUDGE MC Nuggets is wrong with you!?

A friend texts me, Do you know what IDK stands for?. So I text his back, I don't know. he texts back, OMG nobody knows!

i salute you Mr port a potty guy,it takes a strong man to do your job

I heard that every time you laugh, it adds 7 years to your life. If it's true, I'm gonna life forever!

You smile I smile, you get hurt I get hurt, you cry I cry, you jump off a bridge, I'm gonna miss you...

Oh what beautiful morning,Oh what a wonderful day, I've got a horrible feeling it's gonna piss down all day !!

Have you ever thought just maybe Duct tape really was the answer to all of life's problems??

Dear Past, Thank you for all the lessons. Dear Future, I'm Ready

put the lime in the coconut and shake it all up.

you make me crazy, and confused at times... but when i look at you i get lost in your eyes,  inevitably lose my concentration and all sense in my head.

Boy: "I wanna be a superhero, guess my name." Girl: "Superman? Ironman?" Boy: "(smile) YOURMAN"

If you like me then like and comment and i will say wot i like about u !

to some I'm a dream.. to some I'm a night mare..  Well hello lovey.. and welcome haters...  pick your poison.. and enjoy the ride. Love /hate me forever

is on the TV! OMFG I'm FAMOUS! Oh wait... I'm on Crimewatch.

wish this wish read wish will wish you wish as wish stupid wish as wish sum1 wish only!(now read it backwards with out the word wish init!!) XD XD XD XD XD

If a turtle has no shell; is it naked or homeless??? Just wondering.

If I read books as much as I read status's on Facebook I'd be a genius!!!

Today, I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, "Cookies are required to operate." I thought to myself, "Me too, Facebook. Me too."

If you are unable to reach me I am probably in my closet, drooling, banging my head and drawing pictures with poop. Yup, been that kind of week.

Being Me... and Rockin it!

Look up "top 50 most searched women" click on the first link look at number seven and start laughing :)

Went horseback riding today..Wind blowing my hair, it was a pretty good ride!! Until I ran out of stinking quarters n the Walmart greeter kicked me out :d

little miss druggie sat in his buggy eating a kilo of weed along came a spider and sat down beside his and sold his a kilo of speed.

~*ur my hunybunch sugar plum pumpy ummpy umkin ur my sweetie pie ur my cuppy cake gumdrop snoogums boogums ur the apple of my eye*~

wow, i was just thinking... if people knew how to read minds...I'd be freaking screwed!

Karma is like a boomerang... if you throw something mean, it always comes back to hit you in the face.

used to be normal until he met those wierd people he now calls his friends

due to health and safety this status has been removed. For more information please press Alt + F4

Facebook is a mental hospital we rake fake grass, harvest fake plants, we make fake food, and we write on walls think about it we are the patients HELP ME!

shhhh!!! be very very quite. it's beer season, and I'm hunting beer.Look there's another one I need to kill

Only a good friend will sit on the floor so you have the chair.Your BEST friend would push you to the side and make you share it with his.

Dear Week, I no longer like you and I am leaving you for Weekend. I would say that it's not you... it's me... but no, it was definitely you.

It's raining cats and dogs... Ooh look!  There goes Lassie!!

A Sunday school teacher asked "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl said, "Because people are sleeping."

A good friend will try and tell you to calm down when you are angry. A true friend will be stomping along beside you giggling "Some one is gonna GET IIIIIT!"

I've been to the end of the rainbow. There is no pot of gold only and angry midget trowing skittles at me shouting "TASTE THE FRICKIN RAINBOW!!"

When u start to read this message u will realize this message really says nothing at all but u cant stop reading it now can u.

Where has my mind gone? Oh... Wait... There it is. Its in the gutter again.

Just for fun..Your stuck on an island !!! And can only bring 3 things!!  People don't count..

has had coffee, you may now commence with conversation

8 qualities of the perfect girlfriend, brave, intelligent, gentle, thoughtful, innocent, trustworthy, sensible. in other words B.I.G.T.I.T.S

Never go 2 bed angry. Its really bad 4 u. Stay up and plot Ur revenge then u'll have a brill nights sleep :D

~~ When life gets you down, know what you gotta do??? Just keep swimming!! Just keep swimming!!!

People always say I'm quiet when they first meet me. What they DON'T know is that I'm actually deciding whether or not I like them with the voices in my head.

FUN=   running through walmart barefoot with skittles and Trix throwing them at ppl and screaming "TASTE THE FREAKING RAINBOW KUZ TRIX ARE FOR KIDS"

when people don't know that a รข is actually a <3 x

The cops came too my house and said that my dog bit some guy on a bike I said they were lying because my dog doesn't have a bike!!

If you need me I'll be standing in the front yard like a flamingo wearing pink tiets and a tutu waiting for Google Earth
to come by and take my picture..

If you ask me a question, I say "I don't know" and you ask me again, prepare for a very ridiculous answer.

i laugh at the people that try to be like me. because the one thing that they haven"t figured out is that i"m a  limited edition

2 things u never yell when getting on a plane .(1) SHOT GUN (2) HI TO UR FRIEND JACK

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

I am not addicted to texting. I'm addicted to who I am texting. :)

hears laundry calling and is choosing to let it go to voicemail.

Best friends will go to the end of the earth to find the things u need  they will never give up on u and they r always there when u need a shoulder to cry on !!

is as bored as a fat kid on a teeter totter

not crazy I am mentally amusing.

Look, just because you don't see my pet unicorn doesn't mean they don't exist. It just means they don't like you!

- **WARNING** - This status is a virus. Do not read it, or your eyes will melt and yuu woinyt be avle toi seee anygthuig

is singing - I Love Drugs Drugs Love Me, Crack Cocaine and Ecstasy, With a Sniff Sniff here and injection there, Now I'm Intensive Care. :P

says: I did it because I can, I can because I want to and I want to because you said that I couldn't.

looked at the thermometer today... it said to stay the &*$# inside!!

hi if you noticed this notice then you would of properly noticed this notice is not worth noticing

Man doing a crossword asks wife "4 letter word for female relative, ends UNT ?" Wife says "AUNT". Husband says "Pass the tippex!"

Things to do at walmart- #25 run around walmart and yell marco and see how many people yell polo

A cute guy will open your eyes; 

A smart guy will open your mind. 
A loving guy will open your heart.
But a normal guy will open your legs

Man to God - Why did you make women so beautiful? God  - So that you will love them. Man - But why did you make them so dumb? God  - So that they will love you.

i'm as frustrated as an armless man with an erection

procrastinators unite ... tomorrow ...

The fate of the world is in my hands... Wait, why are you screaming?

I hate it when random thoughts pop into my head and when i try and explain it out loud no matter what i say it makes no sense outside of my head!

doesn't like to drink alone. So I got on Facebook and had a beer. So now I'm drinking with my friends right??

is eating batteries so he can run as fast as the Duracell rabbit

To be happy with a man, u must understand him a lot and love him a little...
To be happy with a woman, u must love her a lot and not try to understand at all..

okay, so there are 57 fish in a bowl.
43 drown.
how many are left?

Everyone knows that I am an angel..dam, hold on a min..sorry, my tail was tangled around my pitchfork, and my horns were tangled in my, where was I.

Don't be jealous when you see your ex with someone else just remember it's always good to give your old used toys the the less fortunate.. lol

The 'snap, crackle, and pop' I heard didn't come from my cereal joints gave out when I reached for the box!

I'll throw a book in your face u'll say"What was that for?" i'll be like "you Got FACE-BOOKED" (:

If you see me smile for no reason or out of the blue, RUN! Im thinking of ideas on how to torture my victims...

Paper beats rock huh? So if I pelt you with rocks is your piece of paper going to protect you? I think not..

me without you is like a shoe without laces, a nerd without braces, and a sentence without spaces. hahahh. <3

"Will be update next month"